What is a serendipity?
The phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for
I’ve always described it as “accidental happiness” or when something is dropped in your lap that brings you joy even though you never expected it.
My next tattoo has a background that is a little more personal and kind of bittersweet.
For those of you who knew me in high school, you know I had a relationship that lasted almost 6 years. I have no regrets and am so happy about where I am now, but the story behind my tattoo remains the same.
There are always two sides to every love story, so remember this is just my half. It was puppy love, and we were two people who hadn’t learned enough about how to love ourselves to know how to love someone else very well. I think we did some damage that was unnecessary, but ultimately grew a lot as people together. The relationship, unfortunately, didn’t crash and burn. It may have been less painful if it would have. Instead, it was a long drawn out death that eventually burst into flames.
I had denied a scholarship to Baylor because, although it was only a few hours away, I wanted to stay close to this person. I went to a local college instead and told myself I was actually fine with it because the financial aid was better and I was too nervous about leaving my parents and family behind. A few weeks before I was set to start freshman orientation, and after 5 odd years together, he left me.
This is an 18 year olds first love. As you can imagine, I thought I was dying. Didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, and cried through every day.
I CHOPPED MY HAIR OFF AND DYED IT RED.
I think that speaks to how I handled it, don’t you? Looking back, there’s no hard feelings. We dragged it on for way too long and both of us just didn’t know how to delicately end it. Hindsight is 20/20 of course, and in the moment I barely handled myself.
So, now I was stuck, single, and had a summer to myself. I had barely been single as a teenager except for the times we angrily spent “on breaks” and dating other people, and had spent almost every day with one person for the last 5 years. I spent about a week sad as a dog and depressed in a dark room. Then, just like most women handle horrific break ups, I decided I was a boss ass b*tch and hit the town.
I had a ton of fun. I went on some dates, hung out with my friends, met a ton of new people. I got out of my comfort zone that I had nestled so deeply into the last few years. It wasn’t easy, but I had become so happy and I realized being dumped was actually very good for me. This was the first serendipity in a string of many.
My now husband had also just left a rocky long term relationship, which leads us to our second serendipity. We had been in the same homecoming and prom groups and we had mutual friends, but our relationship status never coincided and our paths just didn’t cross romantically in high school. He had actually dated a few girls I knew.
So now we’re single at the same time, neither of us are looking for anything serious (LOL) and he messages me on twitter about meeting to catch up.
He slid in the DMs.
I’m feeling adventurous so I say yes, and here we are.
At the time, all I was thinking of was how such a sad situation had actually led to me having an amazing summer. I got the word “serendipity” tattooed on me a couple weeks after the break up just to remind myself of how even the most tragic experiences can actually be blessing in disguise.
I didn’t even know how right I would be in the long run!
I got dumped by who I thought was the love of my life, so this led me to explore my options and meet a new man.
I would’ve been gone once school started and may have only had a summer fling with this man – but I had already decided not to go away for college to stay with my now ex-boyfriend. I stayed for someone who wasn’t even in the picture anymore, but this gave me the opportunity to get to know this new man for more than just a summer fling.
Within a year, we were engaged.
Being left behind got me a hubby, and a baby, and a life I’m happy with. Its the most wonderfully serendipitous thing the universe has ever let fall into place for me.